Many things happen in this world, some make sense; some things don't. Of late I read an article about two people who had been married twenty years that were going their separate ways. It was poignant. It gave the distinct impression that one of the people in the separation wasn't happy about it. Resigned would be the word I'd use.
Change: The More Things Change The More They Stay the Same~
The one writing the farewell began by stating: I know I'm not easy to live with...
Well, well in all truth and honesty--who is? I'm asserting that each one of us has faults, defects, frailties--you get the idea. Since no one is perfect, no one is 'easy to live with'. Granted, some are easier to live with than others, but there is more often than not, a period of adjustment.
The impression I got, was one person of the duo was resigned to becoming single, and the other person had things they wanted to do i.e. "I'm happy for you that you'll be going back to further your education". What? You mean that to go back to college requires you to leave your mate of twenty years behind? We understand how callous that is when men begin families then leave them behind for something and someone new. That's shallow and callous.
Do we ever outgrow the people we love? Should we ever outgrow the people we love?
I have a feeling that in the case of the original couple the 'she' of the pair at least thought she wanted something different. Maybe it was the 'change of life' syndrome. Both men and women have those 'changes', by the way. In the case of this 'she', it sounded like a syndrome of the grass is greener somewhere else. The answer in that case is, the grass is always greener where you water it.
There were three comments. The one summed it up in a short comment--Quitters, you couldn't have tried a little harder? Of course we don't know all the circumstances, but after twenty years where was the disconnect--and couldn't they have looked for it? But it takes two in a relationship. If one half isn't interested it doesn't work.
We all grow and change. I've been a lot of places, seen a lot of things in my life, but I will always be me. The people I love will always be in my heart. I don't intend to trade them in for something more green. I loved my grandparents and my in-laws. We tried to do for them as much as we could. As my husband and I grew older our house often was the spot for the Thanksgiving meals, and Christmas meals, and birthdays. Wherever we went we took them along.With each of their passing a part of my life went with them. I've wrapped it up in a neat little place in my heart.
But I wish I had known several things when I was in my younger years that I've discovered with aging.
- I've discovered, there are things I can't do. And I won't ask someone else to do it. One of the side notes is--it isn't I wouldn't let someone do it for me, or at least help, but if people don't care enough to be in my life to find out what I need, I'm not going to ask them.
- I've discovered that the family I thought was the greatest family on earth--isn't.
- I've discovered that all of us, as we go through life never do the things we want. Sure, we try to do the right things, but trying isn't accomplishing, and life is not easy. Modern life is horrible on families--even the greatest family on earth.
- I've discovered to be kind. Many people would do better--see last discovery. I've apologized profusely for not getting enough done, even though the Good Lord knows I really wanted to, because I love, and have loved my family so much.
- I've discovered that, just as the ex-pro football player said, there is no amount of fame in your younger life that makes up for being forgotten when you're older.
Hallelujah, what a Savior.
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