Questions/answers

Proverbs 16:1 The plans of the heart belong to man; But the answer of the tongue is from Jehovah.

Beauty...what is beauty?

When we look through the pages of magazines we will often find what the world sees as beauty. It glitters, it sparkles, it shines and shimmers. As Christians what should we see as beauty? From ancient times until now, in all societies beauty is a thing to be desired.

Proverbs 31:30 Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; But a woman that feareth Jehovah, she shall be praised.

This chapter in Proverbs has been almost beaten to death, yet for all of that beating it has just been barely touched for its lessons.

I have seen women who are 'graceful' in their lives. They do so many things with just the right touch, say the right things, at the right times...

I have seen extremely beautiful women. At least to look upon...

I have seen women who are a combination of the two qualities; both beautiful and graceful. The question comes, however, as the Proverb says grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain...what is true beauty?

The Quakers, for example, believed any frivolous ornamentation (jewelry, lace, fancy additions of those types)was wrong...was frivolous and as such vain.

I believe the Amish have similar beliefs and are very careful as to patterns in clothing, style, and the such like.

In most modern congregations you can find almost any teaching that will tickle your fancy. We, of course, are often told that there is 'no such custom' for any of these things. Most teaching is very vague on the subject as to what is 'proper' these days. (We don't want to be 'old fashioned' we might turn someone 'seeking' Christianity off/turn them away from seeking--as it were, but...

As a Christian who is attempting to please God first, what is right?

These are some of what I have come to observe, and it may be helpful for others who are looking for some guide lines along the path.

I hadn't been converted long when the question about make up came to me, and true to my nature I wrestled with the question. I asked the preacher at our congregation about this question, and he took me to the scriptures. We went to I Timothy 2:9-10; I Peter 3:1-5.

1Timothy 2:9 In like manner, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefastness and sobriety; not with braided hair, and gold or pearls or costly raiment;
10) but (which becometh women professing godliness) through good works.

1Peter 3:1 In like manner, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, even if any obey not the word, they may without the word be gained by the behavior of their wives; 2) beholding your chaste behavior coupled with fear. 3) Whose adorning let it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel; 4) but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible apparel of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5) For after this manner aforetime the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands:

My fist reaction was that make up and jewelry would be wrong. Then we began to look through the items. I Timothy begins with the goal of modest apparel, shamefastness, and sobriety, and then contrasts it with braided hair, and gold or pearls or costly raiment.

So, are these opposites? Are modest apparel, shamefastness, and sobriety, an opposite to braided hair, and gold or pearls or costly raiment?

It depends. Some to whom this writing is addressed to will remember my mother-in-law. Marie had some very nice jewelry, but none of it would have been considered 'gaudy', or showy. I would describe it more as 'elegant'. It wasn't worn to draw undue attention to her person, but rather to compliment the 'modest apparel' that she wore. Marie didn't wear 'make up', but she did spend time taking care of her complexion so that she appeared pleasant.

In I Peter we can focus on verses 3 and 4.-- 3) Whose adorning let it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel; 4) but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible apparel of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

Here is the outward adorning ie. braiding hair, wearing jewels, and putting on apparel. These are contrasted to the hidden man of the heart: incorruptible apparel ie. meek and quiet spirit.

The apostle here is speaking to a culture, not much unlike ours of today, in which women based their worth on the outward physical beauty. Women would spend hours braiding their long hair (or having their hair braided). Having pearls, ornaments, ribbons, and etc., braided into their tresses, as well as wearing gold and jewels, and 'costly' garments--in order to be noticed, to be thought highly of. The braiding of hair in order to keep it contained and neat in itself isn't what is being spoken about. The apostles both are drawing contrasts between the extra ordinary care of the worldly--those things which will pass away. The dead, dying, decaying things of the flesh (body), and the things of heaven (spiritual) which are eternal.

God enjoys beautiful things. We see those things all around us in His creation...the beauty of the sunrise/sunset, light shimmering on the water, moon rise, stars twinkling, flowers...and more. So, here is the rub, where does a Christian draw the line?

A Victorian woman accepted that she had a duty to look and conduct herself as a lady. She took care of her body, but it wasn't supposed to be her focus. I believe if we look back to the Victorians we could see grace and beauty combined in such a fashion. Men attempting to be gentlemen, and women striving to be ladies.

Contrast that to a walk in the mall today. Things that should not be seen in Christian females ( or Christian men either for that matter)? Punk hair sticking out all over (or outlandish hair style/colors)or too much make up done in an outlandish manner. The women may not have spent hours to achieve the 'look', but their objective is to shout to the world 'look at me, ain't I something!'. There is no 'meek and quiet spirit' there. Tattoos are the same, again seeking to draw attention to the person, and ditto with outlandish body piercings. Women (and men as well) seeking personal recognition through vanity.

Clothing should not be gaudy, even though we are encouraged to want dazzling. We want to be the 'fairy princess' in the shimmering gown no matter what age--it's just sometimes the shimmering gown may look like a pair of 'cool' blue jeans, or whatever the 'in' thing is. (Mothers, here is a caution. Is it right to encourage your young girls in these choices ie. wanting to be the 'fairy princess'? My caution is that it gives them a false goal. It encourages them to set their heart on frivolous/vain things of this world, wanting to be the 'center' of attention. Help them first and foremost to make wise choices. To understand heavenly as contrasted to earthly.)

Clothing doesn't necessarily need to be plain and ugly. There is a difference between much of what is worn today and true 'style'. The french call it 'je ne c'est quoi'...that little something (but I don't know exactly what it is)that sets something/someone apart from others. You can see it in the quality of the material used, the tailoring on the garment (mostly lacking in off the rack clothing of today)--it's called 'style'.

Buying expensive name brands for the sake of impressing others...not a good idea either. Now, for certain items the name that you buy denotes 'quality'. I love percale sheets. The higher the thread count, generally the better the sheets. But I don't buy the brand to impress others. My mother used to tell us girls, 'buy the best you can afford'. Meaning buy 'quality', because it is quality for a reason. It was not that she intended to impress her neighbors, it was because it wore or lasted, or had some value above that of lower quality.

Another caution for Christian women. Listen to your men folk. God did put the husband to be the head of the household for more than one good reason. How many times I have heard women say things like, "My husband doesn't want me/our daughter to wear such and such item, but I think...". Warning bells should go off when our guys say things like 'That's not something you/our daughter should wear. As a married woman, let me tell you, men don't think like women. That could be funny, but it is true. Women may wear an item thinking they look 'good', but looking 'hot' to a guy, doesn't necessarily mean you need a fan.

True, some fellows have an over active mind, but are those the kind of men you want following after you, or someone you love? And why would a Christian woman want to put those kinds of thoughts into someone's mind (other than their mate)and/or tempt someone who is trying to live godly? In the current world that we live in it is growing increasingly important for women to listen when their men caution them about their clothing, or demeanor.

It is important as well that we protect our men by not wearing ungodly clothing. We see it quite often, even among the 'elect'. Clothing that is: short, tight, clingy, low cut. Even things that could be modest that are too tight. I've watched 'Gone With the Wind' a number of times, and I remember what happened when Scarlet was told not to drive through shanty-town, but did anyway. Her husband ended up getting killed... We live in an increasingly hostile and dangerous world.

It is said that hostile acts committed against women is not based necessarily on what 'the' women are wearing. Honestly? It may not be based on what the woman attacked was wearing, but by what the man/men were viewing before the attack. Think about that one. The society we live in is very lax, lazy, and immoral. Since Christians are to be the salt and the light, have we been showing the preserving 'gospel'? Or are we just showing a reflection of the world around us?

Look around you...back to the magazines with the dolled up beauties and the warped sense of beauty. A Christian woman needs to keep in mind this world is not our home, we have a treasure and a citizenship beyond this world.

---But a woman that feareth Jehovah, she shall be praised.--- Proverbs 31:30