Making the Connection

"Our first child was so perfect. She was smart and talented. When she went to school, she did everything just like she was supposed to. Things went well. Then our second daughter was born...well, she was different than the first. She had a learning problem. Her teacher told us, 'if you had had only one child, you would have thought you were the best parents in the world'."

The speaker says, "You are kind of like that--only backwards. If you had had only two children you would have thought you were the worst parents in the world."

Raising children. Hmm, that's a very difficult topic.

In the preface of the book the author writes--When I was right out of college I had ten rules for raising children...but no children. Now I have children, and ...not one of my rules is left.-- Sound familiar?

Rule number one: Never think you 'know it all'. 1Corinthians 10:12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

My friend Lin says in embarrassment, "I used to take my two perfect daughters to church and they sat and were just as good! And I never quite understood why those 'other kids' were noisy, and...they just weren't as well behaved as my two. Then Charity was born. I have repented of my previous attitude, I don't know how many times!"

I don't know how many times, as I watched some childish misbehavior, I have at least thought "I would just die, if my children ever did that!' and turned around to find that, yes indeed, there they were--doing the same thing...or something worse! And no, I didn't die, but I was looking for the proverbial 'hole in the ground'.

"I have never met any 'perfect parents'," my son says as he waves his fork in the air.

"No, there are no perfect parents, that's true," someone says agreeing. "But I know several people who BELIEVE they are the perfect parents."

What is the measure of a 'good parent'? Is it that all of your children are perfect?

"I just look and see how people's children have turned out...then I follow what they have done."

Really? The problem with that is all things are never quite equal. What may look like the 'perfect' plan with one child or in one family, may not be right with another child, or in another family. We can (and often do) listen to the experts tell us how and what to do, but honestly most experts aren't--experts. One book I have found helpful (after, of course, almost all of my children were raised) is 'Train Up a Child' by Gwendolyn Webb. There were common sense answers to common problems.

"Spanking children teaches them violence," my acquaintance states knowledgeably.

"If that is so, why is it MY generation (and most previous ones as well) that were disciplined by spanking were not as violent per se, and the Spock and forward generations that are undisciplined are much more violent?" I question. She has no answer.

Luke 7:35 And wisdom is justified of all her children.

"Well, they may not have been perfect parents, but they were the best ones I had!"

One thing we all need to keep in mind are the teachings of God. God's answers are right, and He is the Perfect Parent.

The parent/child cycle will continue. The child today will be the parent of tomorrow. What seems unfair to the child today, may make perfect sense to the parent of tomorrow.

And God's ways are the key to having happy successful homes and families.

It is most always easier to raise children...when you are a child. Children often can tell Dad and Mom how to raise children. Or it is often easy to raise children...when you have no children....

Proverbs 16:2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; But Jehovah weigheth the spirits. 3) Commit thy works unto Jehovah, And thy purposes shall be established.