He Who Hath Friends

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

We know that there are various degrees of 'friendship'...or are there? In my youth and foolishness, the first years after my marriage, in talking to people I would use the phrase, 'a friend of mine...'. After a few years it became obvious that, in reality, these were 'acquaintances', not necessarily 'friends'. What was the difference? Investment (and sacrifice)...honesty...agape.

Friendship requires work, and investment. We have some friends that we see only once a year at most--and we send them the cards at the end of the year telling them what has happened in our year and wishing them 'a good new year'. They are good people and we enjoy seeing them when we can. When traveling through their area we always try to slip over and see them.

There are other folks we had thought of as 'friends' who--although we live in a closer proximity--don't take advantage to stop and visit us. After a while--we...rightly or wrongly...feel as if they don't really value our friendship. We went the first two miles--but they don't return the favor. We are all busy people and the need to choose where we are going to invest our time and friendship is valid. They aren't bad folks...we aren't bad folks...and we are still on 'friendly' terms, just not really 'friends'. There is no investment from their end.

Then there are real friends. Maybe you live close, or maybe there is a distance, but there is a closeness of heart no matter where your homes may be. When our barn burned down...they were there. When some of our kids left home unpleasantly...they were there. When people said unkind things about us...or them...(there has to be something wrong with you, else your children wouldn't leave in such a manner, etc.) we didn't believe evil of them, nor they us...we were there... together. When our children came back, got married, graduated from high school...good times or bad we were there.

"...there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

The commentator Gill says, "Friendship ought to be mutual and reciprocal, as between David and Jonathan; a man that receives friendship ought to return it, or otherwise he is guilty of great ingratitude."

That's the kind of friendship that 'sticketh closer than a brother'. These kind of friends invest part of their heart as well as time. They honestly care...that's the agape part. They don't just say the words--'stop in and see us some time'. They say, 'come on over Saturday' (Sunday, or whatever day) they make a space on their calendar, as well as a space in their heart.

"The Exodus of Young Adults", the title reads. Main line churches are losing their young people. Specifically the 18-23 year old group. Of course there are various reasons, but underlying most, they say-- is a lack of love. But when they say we need to 'start living Christ's call to love,' here are some questions to think about: just who are they talking about? And (as was asked on another blog: http//doomandgloomchristianityblogspot.com/) what does love look like? We might also throw in there the question, 'How do we value', also, because all of these questions run together.

Friendship. Friendship takes a sacrifice of love, of work, and of time.

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Romans 5:10 For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, shall we be saved by his life;

What are we teaching our 'young adults'? Do they emulate us? Do they see a lack of sacrificial love in our lives...therefore they also lack that sacrificial love? Jesus died for them (as well as us), so the lack is not on His part. (Maybe there isn't a love from other 'church members', however, honestly-- the fault isn't usually only with the other members, but also with self). Then the question; what does love look like? Some people--young or old--if you 'correct them, even if it is a correct correction, take offense. In a sense the correction though painful, is a manifestation of love. So what does love look like? All fuzzy and warm feelings? Throw out the cross, if that's the case!

Perhaps, then, the real question is; how do we value? Hmm... John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. And...

Romans 5:10 For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, shall we be saved by his life;

Luke 12:6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pence? and not one of them is forgotten in the sight of God. 7) But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

We know how God/Jesus value. So, how do we value? If "Friendship ought to be mutual and reciprocal, as between David and Jonathan; a man that receives friendship ought to return it, or otherwise he is guilty of great ingratitude."

Luke 17:15-17 And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, with a loud voice glorifying God; 16) and he fell upon his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. 17) And Jesus answering said, Were not the ten cleansed? but where are the nine?

Hallelujah! What a Saviour!